Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
