I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
