Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
