Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
