YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
