Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
