I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
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I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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