My room smells like vodka and shame
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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