Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
