Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
my liver is dry heaving
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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