Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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