I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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