I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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