Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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