Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
