rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
