there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
