I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
