You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
