I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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