Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
