Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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