I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
