Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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