I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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