Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
