nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
