Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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