Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
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Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
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