I'm lost and stupid without you.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
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