I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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