I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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