I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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