My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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