I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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