I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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