When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize