I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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