Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
