I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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