all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
