using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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