I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
