I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
