hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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