Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize

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(636): View more from Missouri

maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.

Fav 14 1746 3534
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(214): View more from Texas

Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.

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(578): View more from

oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.

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(845): View more from New York

if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....

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(630): View more from Illinois

I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?

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(713): View more from Texas

If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"

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