i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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