I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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