I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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