windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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