she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
