she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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