So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
