i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
