Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
