we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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