His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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