I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
