how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
